the truth about positive affirmations
“I am in the happiest relationship of my life with my dream man”
(I am single AF and haven't been on a good date in months…)
“I've manifested my dream job working for myself”
(I have no idea how to do that and I'm about to throw my actual work computer across the room…)
Here's the truth about positive affirmations: They don't work.
At least not how they are generally taught in the wellness world right now.
If you've meditated on a positive affirmation and been frustrated by a lack of results or consistency, you are not alone.
I would, gladly, be out of a job if I could just tell you to repeat “I am in a relationship with the love of my life” and wait for it to happen!
So why don't they work? Traditional positive affirmations fail for two reasons:
Your brain doesn't believe you.
There's no element of personal responsibility.
I 100% believe in the power of our intention & vision to help take us from where we are to where we want to be.
But when we're projecting into a future that is FAR from our current reality (with no action steps to back it up), our brain calls B.S. and essentially all we're doing is fantasizing.
To not throw the baby out with the bathwater, we just need to shift how we use positive affirmations, so they are actually effective.
First, make it more believable. Instead of, “I am in my dream relationship”, you might say “I am learning to say yes to who is right for me and no to who is not” or “I am practicing being vulnerable and open to love.”
Second, ground your affirmation with practical action steps. For “I am practicing being vulnerable and open to love”, you could add the practical steps of: This week, I will: 1) tell a friend how I am actually feeling; 2) tell people that I would like to be set up on dates; 3) look for examples of how the kind of person I want to be with exists.
To recap, choose an affirmation your brain can understand/get behind and ground that affirmation in reality by adding practical steps that you will take responsibility for.
Let me know how it goes!
Love,
Jessica
