You can’t make me stretch!

WHO ARE YOU SCREAMING AT, JESSICA? 

I am screaming at myself, friend. Inside my head. Because I f*#king HATE stretching. (And running. If hell is real and I go there, my punishment will be perpetual running & stretching. I'm going to hate it, but damn my legs will look good. Though no-one will appreciate their sculpted, limber magnificence because…hell).

 I digress.

 I'm sitting on the floor of my apartment, legs stretched into a V (closer to an l?), silently yelling “you can't make me stretch!" at myself. 

 But stretching is GOOD for you, another part of me says. I recently read an article (saw a TikTok) that said, if you can't touch your toes you're 1000% more likely to die in the next 5 years*. And since we know where I could end up, if that happens, and what they'll make me do…I'm very motivated. (Yes, ironically, I must stretch some on earth so I can avoid stretching FOREVER in hell). 

 In the midst of this internal battle, I had an epiphany: 

 I am making this too hard on myself. 

 (Let me give you a moment to gather yourself after knocking your socks off with this earth shattering revelation).

 I was stretching myself too far, quite literally. Making it too painful. Because I wanted to see results and I wanted to see them FAST. 

 BUT, my “no pain no gain” approach was headed straight for “I quit” and an untimely death within the next 5 years*.

 This is true of any goal you are working toward. (Not the dying part!!). If you push yourself 2 Fast 2 Furious**, you are much more likely to give up. 

 This goes for: your health goals; getting over a heartbreak; pursuing your passions; inner healing work, practicing vulnerability, being a badass in your dating life, etc. 

 Any time you are stretching outside your comfort zone, science and experience tell us to GO SLOW and BE CONSISTENT. 

 This is the very unsexy secret to realistically meeting your goals. 

 If “science tells us” wasn't enough to convince you, we've learned that taking too big of a leap out of your comfort zone too quickly triggers your nervous system. Your inner alarm bells scream NOT SAFE and you subconsciously return to safety - your comfort zone. 

 Please see sad but insightful lobster analogy here***

 I've met with people who were afraid to admit even to themselves that they wanted to find love. The first step in achieving your dream is admitting you have one. 

 THE SOLUTION to moving forward is to find your sweet spot of sustainable growth. Think of an important goal you've struggled to meet. Follow this formula: 

 1. Push yourself just ONE SMALL STEP outside your comfort zone.

2. When that 1st step becomes comfortable, take the next SMALL step in the direction of your goal. 

3. Repeat with consistency. 

 The consistency part can be the hardest, so it helps to have some accountability. Involving a friend can help. If you want my help with reaching your goals, come talk to me here. 

 What if I don't know the first step?? Again, come talk to me here. The first step usually involves FEELING and less THINKING. What is it you want to feel? What's one, small, thing you could do to create that feeling?

 Happy metaphorical stretching friends! (bc happy physical stretching is not a thing).

 Love, 

 Jessica 

 *Can someone fact check this? It sounds 100% credible and scientifically accurate to me, but I don't want to be out here spreading misinformation. 

 ** Ranked last, in my opinion, of an otherwise perfectly executed franchise due to its fatal flaw: Vin Diesel is not in it. 

 ***Think of yourself like a lobster being boiled. You don't drop the lobster into boiling water. You put it in lukewarm water and slowly turn up the heat so it doesn't realize it's about to meet its fate. But instead of dying, you achieve your dreams! Unless you don't stretch, in which case you go the way of the lobster within the next 5 years*